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I never thought about it that way. The fact is that, the majority of our thoughts and actions are on autopilot. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing either. Our habits, routines, impulses, and reactions carry us through our lives so we don’t have to stop and think about it every time we wipe our ass or start a car.
This is actually part of a larger trend we’re seeing in our culture: the generalization of men as the ones who are always doing, always doing, always wanting. We’re not so much looking for something in the first place, but a situation with the right person, and the right circumstances, to fall head over heels in love.
The trend is actually not so bad. If you have to put off your current relationship because of a bad habit or habit, you are actually doing yourself a favor. Sure, you have to make yourself mentally prepare for a breakup, but it will have less impact on your ability to act on your intentions than if you were to stop using the “always doing” excuse.
This is why the idea of ‘just saying yes’ is so dangerous. People think they are being genuine when they say “I’m just waiting for you to call me,” but in reality they have just been doing it for so long they feel like they have no choice. So a person who is only in a relationship for some time, but then wants to “just say yes” for the sake of being in a relationship, has just been saying yes to a bad habit for too long.
In reality, no matter how much time you have, how many times you change your mind, and how many times you say no, there is always a “yes.” And all the time that has gone by, you are just saying yes to things you don’t really want or have the ability to do, and maybe because you have been using that excuse for so long you feel like you are making yourself look bad.
The problem is that this whole “yes for the sake of being in a relationship” excuse, in all it’s absurdity, is an excuse to avoid making any real effort to make yourself happy.
You’ve been using that excuse for so long you just feel like you’re making yourself look bad. That excuse, and the excuse of saying “no” in the first place, are both so common, it’s almost as if we are all saying it every single day.
In fact, the whole “it’s not about you” thing is the reason we’re having trouble making a relationship work. Because it feels as if everyone is just trying to get by and avoid any real effort to make themselves happy. We’ve all been there. We all want to be happy, but we’ve all just been too lazy to put in the effort to make ourselves feel good.
If you don’t love yourself, you don’t love anyone else. So stop being so hard on yourself. If you are still being hard on yourself, you are not loving yourself. You are only loving yourself because you are not loving anyone else.
It’s time to go back to the dating apps that were once a part of your past, or the ones that no longer bring you joy because they’ve been replaced by something else. They aren’t the same. If you love yourself, then you also love those closest to you, including your friends. You don’t love anyone else by being hard on yourself. You are only loving yourself because you are not loving anyone else.